Ok so because of all the events that have been happening lately I thought it would be good to write a post about positivity. Personal happiness and how I always try to remain that even if my world seemed to crumble at times. So yet another personal blog, but also maybe some food for thought if you have a hard time seeing the good in things in life or yourself 🙂 . Beware, It’s a post of almost 2000 words 😉
Ok this will be a long post as I will be talking about self image, positive thinking and living a positive life. It gets quite personal so you’ll have to bare with me 😉
For as long as I know I have been struggling with my self image, yet lately it seems to get better all the time. Did I start to look different? no not really. I started to see different. Think about that. Oooooooor maybe it’s just because I am getting older and wiser… ya…… nope hehe. It’s about learning what matters and what doesn’t. First and most important thing I have learned; STOP GIVING A FUCK about what others think. Dress the way you like, the way you feel comfortable.. I don’t dress or look the way I do to impress others. I do it because it makes me feel good about myself, it gives me the feeling of being able to express whats inside (personality, mood, the things you love). For me it’s just another expression of my creativity and mood. Find what you like and do what works for you.
Ok enough about that! So how do you remain positive even the situations seem to be hopeless? Always remember that all bad things come to an end. Yes offcourse you are allowed to feel bad at times and feel sad or broken. It’s perfectly normal because no one can take on all of the world. But the important thing about it is; don’t dwell in that negativity too long. I am very convinced in the vibes and energy you give and feed your thoughts is what you get in return. If you keep thinking that everything is bad, it will not change because you will not change it and you get stuck in your negativity and attract more. If you head into an ‘adventure’ of any kind but start thinking bad things , that is what you are gonna get. If you dive in head first with a positive thought and knowing that every bad thing will end and positive things are awaiting, you will be able to take that adventure on way more easy and comfortable. Stop thinking about the ‘what if’s’ because all the what if’s are probably not gonna happen anyway because you cannot ever know what will happen. What do you have to loose? You will survive and get out stronger and probably wiser 😉 (Ok with some things maybe not like skydiving but thats a risk you take when doing such things :P). The thing is: See bad experiences as lessons, see mistakes not as mistakes but as lessons. You will end up wiser and as a better person. Learn to let go of things and stop giving a fuck at times. YOUR happiness lies in YOUR hands, don’t let anyone break your spirit and don’t let your happiness depend on someone else! It’s easier to say than to do but once you get your hands around this you will make life a lot easier on yourself. You as much as anyone else deserves to be happy (unless you are an asshole but I highly doubt that the people reading a blog like this really are assholes 😉 ).
About the ‘You happiness lies in YOUR hands, don’t let anyone break your spirit and don’t let your happiness depend on someone else.’ What I have learned in my 26 years of life is that you have to take care of your own happiness, and don’t let others control that for you. For example there is something you like to do a lot and makes you incredibly happy but your parents/friends/whoever think it’s weird or stupid. It’s normal for people to then doubt themselves because of the opinion of others. STOP THAT! it makes YOU happy, it’s good. It is not up to someone else to decide what makes you happy, if you give in to adjusting yourselves to what others expect from you to make you happy, you will never be because you are not living your own life/happiness but the life/happiness of the one you submit too. I have always pushed myself away from what others think I should do or what they find ‘normal’, not giving a shit if anyone finds it ‘weird’ or ‘stupid’ what I do, just so I stay close to myself and who I am. offcourse listening to advice is always good but pick out the things that work for you. If I would have listened to what people told me I wouldn’t be photographing, modeling or making cool stuff.. Do what makes you happy and take care you can do that for always. Make your way and mark it like a boss. Even though it’s not always easy to go your own way and a lot of obstacles will be in your way but they are only temporary and lessons. I pursue my dreams and no one will stop me. People have told me I will not make it, I should do other things, I should function in society (I seriously can’t). It motivated me to show them that I can do what I love. the hard times are the price you pay for creating your own happiness.. or better said they price you receive if you see it as lesson and you will get out better.
Little tricks I always have to remain my spirit:
- Do what you love!
- Stay true to yourself.
- mistakes are lessons
- stay curious about life!
- Let negative/toxic people go.
- Get out there and walk in nature.
- Will this ‘thing’ matter in a year?
- Know that all negative things will end.
- Always, always! listen to your intuition.
- Surround yourself with positive people.
- Oh, you tell me I can’t? I WILL SHOW YOU I CAN!
- Don’t let someone elses negativity break your positivity.
- Why should I care what they think of me/this? It’s about my happiness.
- I don’t look perfect today. fine, Then I don’t look in the mirror and put on something comfy and feel good.
- I look at the page Word Porn a lot, they have some great mindbenders and motivators.
- Take your time to and take a break sometimes to recover yourself. You are not in a race.
- Don’t take everything personal. The world is not out there to bring you down.
- Show appreciation to the people you love.
- Say ‘thank you for….’ instead of ‘sorry about ….’ it changes the whole feeling and vibe and shows appreciation for the other.
- I do not watch TV or the news, as it is just negativity and manipulation into hatred.
- Work hard on what you want and don’t let anyone stand in your way.
- Don’t spend a day feeling bad about something that happened in 10 minutes. (when you have 50.000-, and you lose 5-,.. you will not throw away the left 49.995, right?)
- Don’t waste your time on people and things that don’t deserve it, Time is something you will not get back so make sure the time you use, is used on good things. Negativive people and things don’t DESERVE your precies time you could be spending o good people and good things.
Try to start seeing the positive side in things and not only the negative side, life will be a lot easier on you. Because the world is not out there to bring you down and there is no secret force against you. It’s you, and you are responsible of how you react to things and how you adjust to things that happen. the choice is yours.. Will you dwell in your sadness/anger/negativity, or will you pick yourself up and fight for your happiness? Time to see that the world is not that bad of a place 😉
One image I always have on my phone and makes me stay positive always sais this:
‘Inside each of us are two wolves. One is good (Joy, peace, love hope, serenity, humility, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith). The other one is bad (anger, envy, sorrow, self pity, arrogance, lies, false pride, hatred). Which one do you feed?’
And as an almost finishing touch, A friend send me this writing and it’s great. A good lesson about life and a good reason to keep moving on 😀
By Morrison W. Roor.
“Life is like a river.. As long as a river flows, the river stays clean. Once the river stops, it will get filled with bacteria which will cause diseases and such. If you compare that to life, it’s the exact same thing.. If you move on with your life, there will be some bacteria in your river, but not enough to have any effect. Once you hang around for too long, and you stop living your life, you’ll be infected by the water you’re drinking, also known as a depression. The longer the river stops flowing, the more soiled it becomes. The longer you stop living your life, the more soiled your life and mind become. “The river flows on, as life flows on.” Whatever life throws at you, try to keep moving on before you end up with a depression, or worse..”
Some things other people said when I asked on facebook what their tricks for positivity are.. They had some great visions I haven’t thought of!
- Corina: ‘Life can throw rocks at you, hard and big. The choice is yours… do you catch them and learn? Or do you get hit and bruised, doing nothing?
I chose to catch.’ And wander replied: ‘But getting hit makes you learn better. Teaches you to catch or dodge next time’. (I think both are right! Trying to catch but getting hit makes you get beter at catching)
- Bo: ‘I keep up a positive-book for myself and write at least 3 things in it a day, even if it’s small. It makes me appreciate the small things in life more and look at the bright side and not focus on the bad ones’
- Pip: ‘Enjoy the little things in life’
- Vincent ‘Don’t take life too sirious, you won’t survive it anyway’ (Remember what I said about not wasting time on negative things, exactly that’s why, you have only one life here, make the most fun of it!)
- Chanti: ‘It’s natural to me to just always look for a good in everything. … you always learn from bad experiences and you grow from it’
- Jeroen: ‘After looking death in the eyes I started to see everyday as a gift, Even a butterfly in the garden can give that little shine to my day. And also the I don’t give a flying fuck mentallity protects me from all bullshit and misery of others’
- Maarten: ‘I don’t let myself be demotivated by social media, and when things seem to go against me, I just take a break’ (there we go with the ‘take your time to take a break to recover’)
- Joost: ‘I don’t stay positive, sometimes things are just shit. It’s up to you to take action to change into something better.’
- Thorgeir: ‘Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive about what could go right’
- Wikkie: ‘It’s the imperfections in life that we get to learn through time, that make life perfect.’
- Juul: ‘try to feel to here you should let your feeling/emotions go, and when to pick yourself up and get to moving on. Sometimes it’s good to just let yourself go and sometimes it’s better to force yourself to keep going’
- Marije: ‘I heavily believe in the law of attraction. If you are positive in life, you pull positive persons and situations to you. When you are negative, you will pull negativity to you.’ (Exactly what I tried to say, you got it girl!)
- Kathleen: ‘Finding a project and watching the progress , not the result.’ (Yes! this!)
So, what do you do to stay positive?